Love letter to Hubs

Dear Hubs,

I really just want to break out in song..."you...light up my life..." I love you. I love that you made dinner for me tonight. I love that you cleaned up afterwards. I love that you put Sadie to bed after all that. I love that you recognize when I need some time off, even if its just a few minutes and try to give it to me. I love that we can clearly remember our first Valentine's together. Happy 10th Valentines. It was three days after our DTR. I canned some cookies for you. You gave me a picture that hangs in our room still today. You were the best home teacher I've ever had. ;)

I love your faith and willingness to serve. But I love that you aren't perfect and that I can gripe to you about things sometimes and you gripe about things too. Our minds are so alike sometimes its weird. But 97% of the time you are too good. So many people tell me that. I love that you've helped them out. I know I haven't been easy to come home too sometimes but you have taught me some good lessons. I love you for hanging in there. You don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Your actions speak so loudly and I know that is what counts. I loved watching you play soccer last year. It was so fun to watch how excited the boys got to cheer you on. I knew you had played in your youth but you were really exciting to watch. You are so humble and don't like the spotlight. I see where Luke gets it now. I also loved watching you let the boys help you mow the lawn yesterday. I know its not something you look forward to doing (mowing the lawn) but their enthusiasm and helping you push the lawn mower (even though you don't need it) was so adorable. One day they are going to look back and think about that. You will be so big to them in that moment.

I love seeing you with Sadie. She is your little girl and the bond you have is so special. You are her dada. She lights up when you come home, I love seeing her face. You are such a good father to our three kiddos. I love that.

I'll stand by you throughout life. Whatever you choose, I'll stand by you. I know you will never lead us into dangerous territory. I'll stand by you through the good and the bad. Together we will watch life unfold, our children grow and look back to say "remember when." I will stand by you. I love you forever.

Your wife,

Love letter to Sadie

Dearest Sadie, You are pure sweetness. Honestly, from the moment you were born there was so much different about our family. You had each of us wrapped around your finger.

You have quickly grown into this beautifully intelligent toddler. I love your sweet face. Sometimes you glare at me. I love it. I have a hard time not laughing. I love so much about you. I love the age you're in, 16 months almost. You are so sweet. You recently figured out kissing. You put your lips together (no puckering yet) and say "mmmm." And we are always willing to stop whatever we're doing and kiss you. Its too cute.

I love how you say "hi." Or when you are shy you always touch your forehead or eyes and just look at the person until you decide whether or not its ok to move on.

I love how you carry your "pano" (old burp cloths) around. Those are your comfort items, paired with your right hand middle two fingers life couldn't be better for you. I love listening to your vocabulary grow. So far it is limited to: mama, dada, shoes (what could be more important for a girl?), hi, and dat. It doesn't stop you from trying to communicate more to us. We know you are going to be full of great conversations in the future and I love it.

Do you know how much your brothers love you? Sometimes its disguised by the abuse they give you but you are so tough. Just three days ago you decided to wrestle with Luke! Luke of all people! And I just sat and watched and waited for you to cry out in an unfortunate misunderstanding but it never happened. You loved it. Luke has always loved getting your attention. Ethan has been more gentle about it. Sneaking a kiss here and there. Holding you when you want to be held. Helping you across the street. These two boys have got your back for life.

I had so many fears before you were born but now they've been put to rest. You are absolutely perfect. You have completed our family and filled our home with even more love than we had to begin with. I love you, Sadie, forever.

Love,

Your Mom

Love letter to Luke and Ethan

Dear Luke and Ethan, You two really are like two peas in a pod. There is so much you do together, its hard to remember that you are seperated in age by 17 months. I love this about you two. I love that you share such a special bond. I watch you lift each other up and push each other forward, its beautiful. It brings me such hope. But you are not without your individual strengths. Ethan, you have stepped into your role as the eldest child effortlessly. Each new milestone in your life, our lives, you handle with such ease. You are a calming influence to Luke's storm and a guiding light to Sadie. I love how you pretend with your brother, or anyone else for that matter. One minute you are a soldier, the next a knight in his armor only to be followed by a fierce jedi warrior. Your imagination will get you far in life. You started kindergarten this year. That first day I cried. I want to press the pause button right now and keep you my five year old boy forever. Yesterday you asked if I was going to sit on your head? I was puzzled, what the? Then you clarified, "to keep me little." You always make me laugh. I love you. Thank you for being so willing to help. I love that you are cautious and thoughtful. Last night you came home from being out with dad and presented me with some flowers you helped pick out. You told me how much you loved me. Thank you. I love you and your tender heart. Luke, I love your individualism. You know who you are and you're only four. Sometimes I think you are something else and you teach me quite the opposite. You know you don't have to run as fast as Ethan or play the same games but you still find a way to make your mark and enjoy the experience together. I love your tenacity and quick mind. You don't let time go by without being filled to the brim of excitement. I love the twinkle in your eyes when you smile. Each day I pick you up at 11am from preschool and you almost tackle me to the ground with your running start hugs! I love it. I can see that you are a good leader at school. I love how much you love your sister. Sometimes it drives me crazy, I'm not going to lie, but I know your heart is pure. Thank you for being so forgiving. I love you, Lukers.

I love that you both accept me so easily, with all my faults and inadequacies, you love me unconditionally. When I lose myself you both show me such forgiveness, it humbles me. I am better because you two came into my life. I love it when you ask me to tickle you. Its so funny. I hate being tickled but you two LOVE it. I love watching you play together. I know you will be great policemen, or soldiers, or firefighters, or race car drivers or whatever it is you end up deciding on. I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to watch the process.

I love how proud you are of the projects you bring home from school and primary. I love hearing the explanations and details of each drawing. I love how you remind me to not take life so seriously. We can sit and read a book and nothing else matters.

You both are getting so big. I used to be able to put you both on my lap comfortably, its not the case anymore. I know soon I will be looking up into your faces instead of down. I love the little men you are. I cherish each hug and kiss. I would do anything for you. You will always be my boys.

"I love you forever, I like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

Love,

Your mom

New addition

Freshly Heaven Sent

My youngest sister Mae gave birth to her second little boy a couple of weeks ago. She took these pictures of him and I couldn't help but share the cuteness with you. They named him Ezra. He is the newest addition to the family....until Evelyn has her baby (she's due this week), wonder what it will be (she never found out the gender). We love you baby Ezra! Welcome to this beautiful world.

Dream Job

Have you heard of Amy Atlas? She's an event planner in NYC. Let me be specific, a high end event planner. Take a look at some of the pictures I copied from her blog/website. I love her stuff. Who wouldn't love one of her parties? I can't think of anyone. I want to be the Amy Atlas of the west coast. But as soon as I say that sentence my head is flooded with all the reasons I can't; rational and irrational. The number one reason that glares at me is that I'm a mom. I don't know how to be both. I know it would take a lot of time, effort, and money (the latter is the second reason that glares at me...I don't have any to spare) to be an Amy Atlas but its the separation between mommy and party planner that I can't figure out. Can you tell I'm going through one of my "self fulfillment phases?" I chose to be a mom. I want to be a mom. But I'm itching to be something else too. Do you ever go through these phases? What do you do about it? I don't know how to satisfy both.

List

1. We survived the storms. Last week it rained 6 out of 7 days. Thats a record for us. Thankfully we have come out of it unscathed. A little wet carpet but not much else...at least that we know of. After the first day I headed out to Home Depot and picked up 7 sandbags. I didn't know I was going to have to fill them myself (not that I couldn't but have you tried doing that lately? harder than you think) but was helped by three strangers. It was such a good lesson that day, kindness does exist out there in the cruel world. 2. I have been craving a Sprinkles cupcake or Krispy Kreme doughnuts for about 3 weeks now. What is my problem? This is not going to help the weight loss venture. I think I need to take Sprinkles off my Facebook page. Every day they have a free cupcake offer to the first however many people they say and every day I want to go but I always talk myself out of it thinking by the time I get there the free ones will have been fulfilled and its not as exciting to have to pay for my own right? I wish I could find a fantastic cupcake recipe. I made one this week and didn't even want to eat any after I tasted them....hideous. Thats how bad they were. I will usually gulp down anything with sugar in it but not these. The trash can got them. 3. I am officially the new 10 & 11 year old Primary teacher. And we are officially at church from 1-4pm...blehck. 4. I chopped my hair off....again. I hear the word sassy a lot these days when people react to my hair, is that a good thing? I hate taking pictures of myself so I don't really have one to show you here. This was my inspiration picture though, minus the bangs.

5. My sister Mae had a little baby boy last week. They named him Ezra. He. is. adorable. I'm so relieved to FINALLY know the gender of her baby. It was torture waiting 9 months. Really, it was. Its so fun to cuddle a little baby. Just a few more weeks and the torture is over for Evelyn's baby. What is it? I'm so impatient.

Sweet dreams

Part of Ethan's prayer two nights ago went like this: "...thank you for the good dreams last night, keep up the good work..."

Christmas in our house

Just some random shots from our morning present opening. We got together afterwards with my family for a brunch and later that night finished off the gift giving at dinner.

Legos for Luke

The boys received the Lego Indian Jones video game. Steve likes the video game as much as the boys do.

At our house Santa leaves one gift, unwrapped - it's usually a "bigger" gift for them to share; the rest are from Mom and Dad or family/friends. Santa left a Lego Star Wars shop all built already.

Stockings

My wall of shelves I got for Christmas. It feels so good to have more organization in our play room.

I know I don't have any pictures of Sadie opening presents. We took video. Its her first Christmas so she wasn't really into it. She did get some play necklaces in her stocking that she loves to put on and take off multiple times a day. I need to get a picture of that.

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree." Roy L. Smith

Christmas Eve

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

little children were acting and I was watching with my spouse.

What a beautiful little manger scene, Joseph and Mary were there.

Baby Jesus was quite compliant, but the donkey had a lot of hair.

When at the front door there arose such a clatter,

I sat in my chair waiting to see what was the matter.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

Through the front entrance St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

and his clothes were not tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

(adapted from the poem by Clement Moore)

We went to my parents house for Christmas Eve. We had our usual potluck dinner that was delicious (I made the rolls). Then the kids put on a little manger reenactment while my dad read from the scriptures. Zane didn't want to be the donkey so Clay stepped up to the part! Thankgoodness too because carrying Joseph (aka Luke) alone would have been a little much for little Zbo...ha. My mom had arranged for Santa to come. He brought all the gifts that my grandma, aka Bisa (trasnlation=great grandma), had sent for us. Merry Christmas!!!

Does Santa come to your school?

He came to ours this year. One of the cool things about living where I grew up is seeing my boys experience the same things I did. Its actually kind of twilight-zone-ish...in a good way. There were a lot of pictures I took but I was standing so far away that I didn't get as good of angles as I could usually (haha). They had the parent area taped off so we couldn't be with our kids. Each class was brought on to the black top and sat down to watch Santa's helicopter land. He circled the school a few times and you could hear him saying "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" from the helicopter up in the air. The helicopter landed out on the field and Santa was escorted in. I thought it was so funny that Santa seemed to have as many bodyguards as Mr. President himself. Then the kids just lined up and were shuffled past Santa, it was pretty quick. I guess he was visiting all the schools that day. That night Luke and Ethan were talking to us about the whole event and Ethan said "but Santa wasn't real, he was fake." Steve and I quickly jumped in with how busy Santa is that sometimes he has his elves dress up and go places for him because he can't go himself. Ethan seemed to believe it...hopefully.